Chiang Rai

I woke up this morning, at about 4 am, and thought groggily this weekend has been a joy, before remembering that there had even been anything i had en disappointed about just a day ago. I had just woken up from another dream about Obama. In the dream, Roxanne and I were going to see him repeat his speech on health care, and Obama was theatric, dancing his way into the teatere, (he rode into the building on a goat), before taking up his normal speaking abilities. At somepoint, Xane turned into a grown up version of Rew, who was playing the guitar, so I woke up to music.

The two things I dream of (with astonishing frequency) here, are Barak Obama and Tor. I think they are two things I love, and also subconsciously took for granted back home.

On Saturday, was got up early to go to Chiang Rai, a city a few hours north of Chaing Mai, where my host sister Lin, 19, goes to school. I found out I had successfully understood Pi Boon, when he did indeed come with us, but in a separate car (his pickup) with a moctercycle in the back, that we were delivering to Lin at school. We packed up (Rew, Leap (who I found out from learning to write his name the other day, I should really be writing more life Leaf) and I were in the back seat, me in my customary sibling mediating, middle seat position. Yai (grandma) and Mae in the front. There are five mountain ranges in Thailand that run N. to S. kind of like the five fingers of a hand. (The Thai version of the Michigan mitten is to point to one of the vallies between fingers. )

To get to Chiang Rai we crossed over one of these ranges, which was beautiful, if not epic like Colorado, the landscape was rolling, blue and green, farmed and unfarmed, jungley, with a high density of shanties, oxen, and rice fields.

We got to Chaing Rai around lunch, and met up a with Lin. Her university, she told me, is the number one most beautiful university in southeast Asia. The buildings were certiantly very modern, and quite sculpted. The Chinese language building looked like a garden temple-school hybrid. We only spend a few muintes on campus, while Lin tested out her motorbike, and Rew and Lep tried (unsuccessfully) to get me to got fetch Lin from somewhere inside the “girls only” dorm, and then go over to what I think was part of a water treatment tank/filter thing. I was particularly, Faranged out, (feeling awkward about being a Farang) as university girls were giggling at me.

We quickly took off to go to lunch, which was delicious and included spicy papaya salad that was too spicy for Rew but I thought was so delicious I just plowed through it, nose dripping, and tongue tinglinly dogged. Then we all pilled back into the cars (Paw and Boon and Lin in Boon’s pickup) and drove until we passed a wat, into a tiny streeted neighbor hood, and pulled into the drive way of a compound with three little tiny houses in it. Everyone got out of the cars, walked through the small garden, past cement barrels which Rew and Lep quickly showed me had fish in them, and into one of the tiny houses. It had a bed-spread identical to mine at home, and so I deduced this was actually their place somewhat permenantly.

It was very pretty, and I was yerning to go explore, but the first thing my Aunt, Sister, and Grandma and Mom did was plop down on the one, large, only, bed and start watching television. I went outside, and Paw was sitting on the porch watching Rew and Leaf play with the fish, by which I mean, lifting the fish out of the water with cupped hands- the fist I must say, were much calmer about this whole “no oxygen process” than our fish at home are.

Then, Paw, suggested we go for a walk, and we wandered down a road and into dirt track through a rice patty. We walked down the field-road, Rew and Leaf trying to catch dragonflies by sneaking up and trying to pinch their abdomens. A one point a pretty white bird took off from the field, and majestically …pooped as it flew away. Rew found this very very very funny, especially once I commented, jokingly, Soi Soi (beautiful beauful)…ugh. We saw some farmers, farming pineapple, at the other side of the rice field but we didn’t get too close. Then my family said it was going to rain, so we went back to the house and Paw showed his experience at catching dragonflies by the abdomn, and Rew collected them in a plastic grocery bad. He even put grass in there, and I failed at explaining that I think dragonflies are carnivorous.

The only other expedition we made outside the garden was to walk through the neighborhood and buy icecreams at a tiny little shop. At one point a dog came down a drive way, and Rew and Leaf grabbed my hands and tried to get me to run away with them but I was able to test out my very very good advice about dogs which was A) from Greg: stay the #%$@% away from them and B) Ajaan Mark) Stay the (#$%# away from them and if they come near you, chuck stones at them as hard as you can. This is how everybody deals with them. When he was new to Thailand, Mark was visiting a village and noticed that all the dogs left the village granny completely alone. He asked her one day, Village Granny, why do all the dogs leave you alone, and she says, oh oh, easy easy, throw stones, throw stones, and proceeded to make sure he knew exactly what she meant by making him pick up stones and chuck them with her. As it turns out, you don’t actually have to throw stones… all you have to do is turn to face the dog and bend down like your about to pick up an inmaginary stone and the dog will high tail it in the other direction. This I found out, was quite satisfyingly true, and made me feel much much safer in Thailand. (Every few years, and ISDSI students needs rabies shots. However, it is never from dog bites- it has always been the cute little kitty cat. Usually the adorable little kitten, that has reqired back country evac, and emergency shots).

I was still unbelievably beat from Friday night, so I was have trouble even hanging out in the yard without getting woosy, so I took a nap, and when I woke up a bit later at 6 everyone was packed up and getting back in the car, to go back to Chiang Mai O.K.? so I said O.k. and got my stuff, but inside I was sad. On the way back, my family stopped by the most beautiful building I have ever seen in my whole life. It was a Wat (temple) made entirely out of white-icing and glitter. It was dark by now, and the whole thing was luminous and sparkling, like it was made out of 100,000 million glued-together-stars. Unfortunatly, the Wat was closed at dark, so we drove on.

I asked when we were going back to Chiang Mai, today, and not tomorrow, and my parents seamed concerned (paw was riding with us now, in the back seat with Leaf on his lap). (I was proud of my use of the word, why, which we just learned in class the other day, but not so proud that it took me quite a while to get the courage up to ask, and by that time it was pretty much point of no return for going back). Mae explained there wasn’t enough space at the Chiang Rai house, and I really hope they weren’t going home, for my comfort, because I really really really wouldn’t have minded sleeping on the floor. I wouldn’t have minded sleeping in the garden, under my raincoat, in a monsoon. I mean, that basically what I’m paying K tuition to do, and was a large contributing factor to me choosing the Thailand program.

I’m struggling not to take it too hard on myself that I didn’t try earlier and harder, to communicate I was like way more than O.K. with staying in Chiang Rai, because on one hand I want to take responsibility for my experience in Thailand, and everyday. I don’t want to be a passive recipient of my experience here. On the other hand, I’m trying to remaine flexible, find humor in failure, allow myself to fail, and have what the Center for Internatinal Programs calls “low goal orientation”. (I.E. be ok with not accomplishing a lot, setting small goals, wasting time ext). Although, it didn’t erase the deep feeling of failure, and sadness for not seeing Chiang Rai (other than for a few sleepy hours in a garden) and not being able to go back to the icing-Wat in the morning… *cough cough*. Although we went back to Chaing Mai, a day early, I’m staying pretty positive about the whole thing. Really, everyday I spend with my family here is great, no matter where we are. It’s more about being with them, than seeing the courty, especially during the homestay part of my journey here. And the fact that they came home a day early, possibly just so I would sleep more comfortably, is touching, and indicative of their huge hearts, and concern for my well being.

Plus, the car ride back was really really nice. When we dropped Lin off, Rew was riding on my lap, and Leaf on Paws. After Lin got out of the car, Rew kept riding on my knees; Paw called him out on this, and told him to give me space and sit in the middle, the family laughed, and teased Rew lovinly. I was touched: Both by Paws consideration of for my comfort, and my Rews affection. His comfort with me, gave me to confidence to put my arm around him for the ride back, he curled up and slept, hugging my arm the whole way back.

I had my first communication with Yai, too, which was to ask her where she was from, and Mae helped translate/explain. I feel a bit embaressed that my functional Thai is still so far behind my class Thai, but then maybe I’m just being hard on myself again. I think my goal is to try to make relationships, and if I use waving, and fractured thai, or just smiling, that’s ok. Its hard to feel like I don’t have to impress anyone.



p.s. the second thing I thought when I work up was: is it possible my bed has bed bugs?! As I’ve been waking up with large, itchy, “mosquito bits” all over my legs, although I close and lock all the windows into my room because I use A.C. at night. I’ve heard, from a friend in Entomology, that if you have bed bugs, you know you have bed bugs. Maybe I just aquired some little bed fellows… I’m going to start sleeping with full length sleaves and pants, and putting on Deet to get into bed, for a start.