Figuring out how laughing is how to learn a language.

I’m alone in the house now, which is very nice for a change. It may be one of the few moments I have been along besides when I was asleep. Thai people do not like to be alone. In fact, until about thirty years ago, they did not have a word for “privacy”.

Sunday I went to the super market with the family. It was exactly like an American Meijer only it had “Shampuroo” – a land of pink and hello kitty, just after the check out. Also lots of instant coffee, better flavors of yogurt, and more things favored shrimp.

Thai class recently has been great! I had a blast the whole time. I think I figured out how to handle it: smile and laugh. It actually works for me! When I don’t get it smiling or laughing and saying “I don’t get it” again and again until someone is able to make it clear, seem to instantly cancel frusteration. I also can’t believe how many words they are trying to teach us each day…. Dozens. Maybe, well, lets count how many…65 words in class. (that’s including a few words that are totally new concepts, not just nouns and adj. and how to use them!) then for homework were learned parts of the body, and clothes from our host families. After dinner paw taught me 32 body parts and 9 pieces of clothing. Whoowe! I’d say I can pronounce 75% well enough to be understood, and I have memorized, at the moment around 45%... all in one day! I very much like the other 6 students in my class, they are bright and fun. I’m very glad I got Ajaan PongSoi as my Ajaan. He pushes us hard, but everything is like a riddle to be solved. He is fun and funny, too. Ajaan Pongsoi is a good leader from behind. He will explain grammar using colored blocks for words, or introduce a concept with an example and a drawing, and if some of us don’t get it, he turns it over to those who do get it to teach the others. Sometimes when we are frustrated, he just finds a way to make us laugh. He is patient and doesn’t give away freebies. Ajaan Pongsoi would make a good Landsea leader.

I’m starting to settle into the routine of life here.

I can’t believe how comfortable I am with my host family. It sounds like all the students are feeling varying shades of awkward at home, but I am lucky enough to have no problems that interfere with my life. (if i were a shade of awkward it would be white with thin yellow and green stripes). I play, or learn Thai from Paw, or meet relatives, or entertain myself with juggling balls, or do homework, or greet Mae as she comes and goes. Even if I make a cultural mistake, I feel foolish for a moment, but it doesn’t last on my feelings with the family. Like today paw gave me a bowl of rice but no silverware, and went into the kitchen and I thought, oh hes bringin some, and handed me a bowl of soup with a soup spoon (serving) and I started eating with that instead of the customary knife and fork. No no! he took it away and brought a new serving spoon and real silverware, oops, but mai pen rai, (roll with it, nevermind, or its cool).

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Last night i had the best dream ever! The obamas came to school and they needed our students to come with them to cincinati to help with "something big" something that was going to "be on every news channel". At one point in the dream Barak called my phone, at another Micheal and i were traveling through a forest to get to tiny train platform. The dream incorportaed all of these cultural aspects we have been learning about...

Today for class we cooked thai food. We went to the market and bought ingrediants, which was much easier now we know words like "do you have" and "where is" and we had the tones as well as the phonetics. I bought section of a durrian fruit, The King of Fruits, and sorry Carina, i barely had a nibble before it made me sick to my stomach. uuuggghhh. i passed it all around, so lots of people got to try it. Or rather Erin did mostly, since being near the smell made me sick. About a third could eat it.

Then we learned to cook following Thai directions and between the five groups made quite a wonderful meal. We all hung out in the back yard or school, a grassy garden, with those cement "flower pot" grills, and chopped garlic, mint, and peppers. We made a stir fry noodle, pork, veggi dish, quite good.

In seminar we talked about societal trends - differences in how people interact on a society level, between the USA and Thailand. I love when i have a lecture where i am continually joting down personal connections, insights, short paragraphs, and stories, in scrawling blocks through out my normal notes.

Heres a condensed quote from Ajaan Mark, talking about what makes the ISDSI program so unique, powerful, and and effective:

"We [ISDSI] are a part of all the communities where we teach. ISDSI is umprecedented in that we collaborate with the ommunities to help them design the courses... When we first arrive the community members ask us what we want them to with the students, and when I [Ajaan Mark] ask them for thier opinion, they will try to guess what they think that i would want them to do and say that. but by now the communities have realized we trust them. They get so excited. Often, these people have never been given room to think on thier own in such a context. We invert the power heirarchy."

In the USA there is a sense of "the common good" we treat basically everyone outisde of our families with waht is considered "common courtesy". We operate under the belief that society is egalitarian, that each person is fundamentally equal (we play down rank) and interact based on laws. In thailand people are deeply connected to family (thier families are larger and more flexible in definition that the nuclear USA family) and outside thier family is a circle of realtionships, which Ajaan Mark called the "circle of concern". The "rules" of politeness/manners, concern, social leverage, and obligation fall on this circle. Outside that circle is every one else, those of disregard. They are often not treated with universal respect. Laws, often fall to the side when the trump of social relationships are brought into play. People outside the circle of concern are not innately trusted. (This is why being a Farang (foreigner) in thailand can be dangerous, since you have no soical relaitonships. By putting us in homestay families, they are placing us right at the center of these concentric circles. Although we may lost some freedom (be treated like a young child, having to call home if we will be 15 min late ((i totally don't mind this at all))) not only are we shielded from the distance, or dangers of being non-connected we recieve the wonderful benefits of being within the circle of concern (and in the family!). We are very well taken care of.

its super cool to look at the huge fundamental differneces between Thailandand the USA in some areas, like common good, womans rights, respect of family (especially mothers), Fate v. agency. For one, i get an amazing and new (more proud than i expected) outside perspective on what it is to be an american, relatedly i get a sense of where my values are, and what they are, not just mine but mine culturally. Secondly, its really mind stretching to let go of gut reactions and begin to examine and analize theses values, think of why thier here, how they are balanced, how the complexity of their layers play out, what the effects (on pyscological state, sense of identity ext) play out in either culture. some, like womens rights, i find myself reacting strongly too, and it a wonderful test of the highest kinds of learning: to fully learn and undersand, to analyze, to think emphatically and raitonally, and to come out with useful applicaple conclusions and act on them. This is all a bit abstract, it so hard to fit such big issues into a blog paragraph, i could proably right a large chapter on each, right now, if i had infinate time. So i guess just: the program has really got me thinking big, thinking why, how, +/-, and thinking about myself.

One value i already appreciate in Thai culture, and would like to self edit to renforce, is the respect of mothers, (and fathers) for the work they have done to bring one up. I think mothers can be rather poorly treated in the US and just want to send home a quick Thanks Mom and Dad! home to Cindy and Dale.

haha. Also people dont say thanks here. Only when its a special favor outside of the normal social relations of Pi's providing for thier Nongs(younger, less status), and nongs respecting and helping out thier Pis, or for things in the normal line of work (thier jobs social, or physcial). For instance no thank for for a nice dinner, or a Rot Dang driver. Amricans say Thank You about 100 times a day as thier way to be polite-so this was a bit alarming for us to learn after bombarding our families with a continual torrent of thankyous for the last week. :) However, the bright side of this sudden feeling of defenseless in showing politeness, is a great way of rainsing my awareness of using other means to show my gratitued, like complimenting the cooking, asking how one slept, sitting with good posture, ext.

i'd love to write more, but then there is so much to say. I'll just try to post bits an pieces of insight with enough background to make them somewhat coherent. Hope it illuminates a bit. Its so exciting to be thinking and learning, and around others who are too... had a two hour conversation about this stuff with Cody, Marcia, Erin, and Ellen, and a few others after school. Ya'll know how into this stuff i get, and how much i love to discuess... ;-P

enthused, thinking, analyzing, and connecting

Gigi